All lycraed up and slathered in sunscreen from head to toe, I felt the tendons in my shoulder tearing away from the rotator cuff even as I reached frantically for the escaping kayak: first afternoon, first activity, first moments of 4 1/2 hours as water patrol and instructor at the kayak station at Longmen Camping Ground, northern tip of the island, Taiwan. Arghh!

Cass and I were both tasked with the Grade 8 camp this year, after a heroic 15 years in a row for my stoic and brave wife. Even when she was 15 years younger, this would have been some test of the mettle. The sun seared throughout, the schedule of activities was brutal and relentless, and the constant vigilance and interaction with kids and adults alike, unrelenting. I knew it was quite awful, but until I personally experienced it, I had no real idea! It was regarded as the hottest camp ever by the double decade veterans, and we both guzzled and sweated litre upon litre of water and slopped on buckets of sunscreen from morning till night.

My activity schedule began, as mentioned, with an overly long stint in the water, basically rescuing novice kayakers in groups as they drifted downriver with the current by shouting instructions and often towing them back upstream. I was pretty exhausted by the time the first evening arrived, but flabbergasted to hear the camp sprukes saying that the camp really doesn't start until tomorrow....maybe for you it doesn't!

I was then tasked with accompanying the 10 km hike up the Tsao Ling Trail each morning. This took 3 hours and involved clambering up stone steps similar to our own Tienmu Gudao, without the intensity but about 6 times longer, before a precipitous drop to the ocean flats on the other side of the island: yes, it actually went from one side of the island to the other! My afternoon duty was similar to the kayaks on the first day, but this time at a different stretch of the river in the tidal confluence near the beach. I was the water patrol on my stand up paddle board (SUP) as coteries of students attempted to master the quite difficult skill. Again, much of this time was spent rescuing the uninitiated or uncoordinated from getting swept away in the current! More afternoons of 4 1/2 hours in the water, and we repeated these morning and afternoon activities for three days in a row!

Cass meanwhile was negotiating the seashore hike combined with snorkeling. This is even more arduous on the knees than the long hike over the mountains, as there are multiple sections of stairs going both up and down. It's also boiling hot as the sun blazes away on the rocky shore, heat radiating from the boulders beneath and shade-less trails stretch away interminably along the shore. Cass also had to work on the food prep teams for breakfast, getting up at 5.30, and also the supper, which meant she didn't get to sleep till 10.30 at night. This was combined with assisting to prepare the entire evening meal on the Tuesday and Thursday night.

Despite the fact that we were slaving away on enervating tasks or treks, we were still expected to supervise areas of tent living or game activities as the kids prepared for meal times. Later in the evenings, the compulsory fun and evening entertainment (usually in the form of dances or other physical movement) was seemingly also compulsory for the adults, as no-one was officially rostered off. It seemed bizarre at times, and certainly catered for the various "Kings of the Kids" who were among our number!

Our one solace was a rudimentary cabin with air-con that we could share, with a little ensuite bathroom. What luxury it was! The only trouble was that the only time we got to be in there we flopped down unconscious within seconds. I needed to spend one night in an airless tent with temps hovering around 40 degrees which was tough on my injured shoulder, and of course I got the obligatory wake-up call in the middle of the night from some needy kids!

Despite the privations we all experienced, the kids were quite amazing. There were precious few complaints and most of the kids made a massive effort at completing new and difficult physical challenges. I was really quite in awe of most of them and just occasionally disappointed by a few of them.

As an antidote to the dirt, sweat and tears of camp, we dusted ourselves off for a bit of 5 star dining at Il Mercato, Tienmu's newest and greatest Italian cuisine restaurant. We were served delicately at timely intervals by attentive, professional staff. The food was sublime and the pampering appreciated: why, by the time Monday rolled around today, we were just about feeling normal again.....(just about!)

Photos: camp stuff and its antidote!
Here is the camp photo album

Graves clung to the sharply graded mountainside in gleaming granite and gold clusters as far as the eye could see to the east and west. They rested in dozens of stacked tiers, as vertiginous drops to the river valley below made it seem as if we were soaring eagles, lords of the dead, masters of the Dharma Drum Mountain!

We'd retrieved the silver bullet from the depths of her slumber in B3 of her sleek new carparking abode and ventured across to familiar territory of the Jinshan township and coast on the northernmost tip of the island. It's always an interesting and occasionally frustrating drive. The roads weave their way up and down impossibly steep inclines and slice through forests and waving grasses. Drivers are alternatively cautious and almost catatonic in the face of the narrow, strangely cambered roads, and overtaking areas are almost non-existent: best to sit back and enjoy the (slow) ride!

The surf, as expected, was dead flat and not even enticing for a swim, despite the fact we'd both come armed with swimmers just in case. We drove around the usual spots to check, but decided to adjourn to the coastal 7/11 for a spot of convenience store lunch. After a stop at some wetlands to spy on a flock of resting egrets, we followed a tour bus halfway up the nearby mountain and discovered a fantastic, dragon themed temple all on its lonesome. Having just finished the latest series of "Game of Thrones" it was uncanny to see the dragons festooned above, and slithering around columns and carvings! We headed further up the mountain via another route and eventually arrived at a spot we'd never been before, the grave sites perched overlooking the magnificent view of Jinshan town and beach, the Dharma Drum Mountain.

Religious chanting was being piped through speakers at strategic points and the grounds and grave surrounds were impeccably tended and beautiful with sculpted trees, manicured grass and inventive artwork. We could see beyond Jinshan to Little Yeliou and further on to the tunnel heading towards Green Bay. From our vantage point we could really see how much Jinshan has grown: it's quite the thriving country township now and has developed from a bucolic coastal village in our time here on-island. We clambered up several flights of steep concrete stairs to stare in wonder at the grave sites: there has been a lot of money spent here! Some had sculptures and rest areas, some even had picnic spots where the family could gather at cute granite stools and tables to enjoy a meal in the company of the departed!

We motored on further through the hillside community at rest, marveling at the views, the money spent, and the ongoing fees that must be necessary. There were guides and attendants everywhere and, as already mentioned, the gardens and community areas were tended fastidiously. It was a fascinating insight into what people with pots of money do in Taiwan to honour their dearly departed!

We took the tourist route back out of town and ended up skirting the river on the "wrong" side until we emerged on the mountain road near our favourite gabion in the form of a rhinoceros. We stopped to give him a pat, as it is a number of years since we've paid him a visit!

On Saturday, we'd done all our shopping jobs and gone down to Sogo where we ate an afternoon lunch/dinner of delicious pizza at the Italian restaurant on the top floor. We checked in at Uniqlo and I scored a couple of T-shirts dirt cheap as the winter clothes are now swelling the racks. I was disproportionately ecstatic to get a plain navy t-shirt with a tiny embroidered Mickey Mose logo on the pocket: childhood memories are strong sometimes! I'd also been down at Patio 84 on Friday to watch my adopted team, The Richmond Tigers score their first semi-final win in 16 years....happy days indeed, despite our slight pangs of regret that Cronulla got knocked out in the league: we enjoyed cheering for them at the Olympic Stadium this time last year!

Photos: Virg is finally enjoying the massaging pillow we got to ease her arthritis pain...she's a slow learner! Patio shot, pizza and lots of pics from Dharma Drum Mountain and surrounds. The shot of Cass with the bikes is interesting: the runaway success of Taipei's Youbike system has spawned some rivals....these are Smartbikes which can be picked up and left anywhere (not just at a docking station) with a swipe of an app on your phone!

 Hamstrings straining and shins screaming, "The Steps" were wreaking havoc on my spoiled calves, knees and thighs as well. How could this well trod path be inflicting so much damage and pain? Don't we have some sort of understanding? I believe we do, but it doesn't entail a couple of months off, swanning around doing 6 km walks up to Strezlecki and back on cambered pathways and steel meshed steps: this is the real deal!

As brutal as it was, it was great to challenge the Tienmu GuDao once again, and even though I managed a very sluggish pace, the summit was reached and the path navigated before heading back down. The stone was slick with rain and runoff, a soup of fallen leaves making each step a hazard as the water spilling from the pipe up top gushed down beside the path creating quite a frenzy of liquid excitement. Eddies and whirpools whizzed at intervals, and torrents thundered downhill at breakneck speed . There was no-one much around which was a real bonus: I don't think many were crazy enough to attempt the climb in the misting rain, with the rock so skiddy and the temperatures roasting and steaming.

Cass demurred on the opportunity to join said expedition (I can hardly imagine why given the explanation of the conditions, can you?!) and we had an otherwise uneventful and relatively lazy weekend as the rain spat and worried outside on Saturday, before settling into an annoying and uncomfortable heavy drizzle on Sunday. The temperatures maintained their lofty heights of late, meaning the heat and the dampness combined to boil us like xiaolongbao in a bamboo steamer! Once again, we were thankful for the fact that our airconditioners could suck a lot of moisture out of the air as well as cool things down.

Our clothes couldn't dry and Cass had things hanging all over the house "Chinese Laundry" style (appropriately) because our dryer has now joined the long list of appliances which have "ceased to co-operate"! Another fix-it call needs to be rehearsed then launched!

Cass enjoyed the latest installment of her book club on Friday night at one of their favourite haunts, "Sonnentor", but they were devastated to learn that it will be closing at the end of the month! Despite the fact that they always seem to have healthy patronage and excellent turnover, they seem to have decided to concentrate on their static food outlets, patisserie style rather than restaurant style. The group will need to sniff out another suitable venue: one thing that was so good about this place was, apart from the delicious fare, that the managers didn't mind them hanging around for a chat for some hours. Come to think of it, maybe it was this sort of generosity that ended up killing the golden goose!

Work at school continues without abatement or even without so much as a truce: by this stage of the year, we can usually negotiate a little with ourselves to call off the foot soldiers from the flanks. However, it seems that the full army is firmly entrenched in the battlefield for the foreseeable future as Cass starts to rehearse her "Back-to-School Night" presentations and we both get ready for camp, which is rushing towards us in just a couple of weeks. Of course, I'll experience first hand the privations of the Grade 8 camp this year....could be interesting (or insert other adjective here for your own amusement!) All the while, of course, while planning and teaching our not insignificant personal schedules. Oh well, first world problems and all that!
 I've given up on Auster's "4,3,2,1" and have taken solace in the comfortable Lee Child's recent Jack Reacher. Cass, despite discussing the book already at book club, is determined to finish: she's not a quitter! Photos: The Moop returns in a local park and images from the steps, including the impressive pumps employed by the side of the trail.

The weather here continues to blaze infernally by day and to settle uncomfortably into a still moist blanket at night. We again are thankful that we live in an age when air-conditioners are plentiful and efficient, and we're luxuriating in our time indoors, both at work and at home. The forecast for the week ahead is similarly awful, so we'll just soldier along a little longer.

The heat is really quite prodigious. We've been having exclusively cold showers for weeks, partly to try not to heat our body cores at all before we walk to school in all our finery. Cass seems better adapted with a glowing sheen the only sign of heat distress at the end of our 15-20 minute walking commute. I, on the other hand, find myself ruing shirt colour selections as the sweat soaks various areas in contact with the skin. My morning routine is to stand straddled above the air-conditioning vents at the back of my room for 5-10 minutes until the kids arrive!

We were very proud of a tiny achievement on Saturday. We managed to find our way across to a rarely visited section of the city to get a new air-conditioner remote after receiving a text of the address from a helpful Carrefour employee. The south-western sections of the city eventually develop into concrete jungles of cheaper and denser apartment blocks sandwiched between snaking overhead expressway systems with commuters hurtling towards the airport or the satellite suburbs further afield. We negotiated the first section of this expressway's eight lanes each way and variously guessed and intuited which of the many options we should take, all the while careening along on a protesting "Blackie"!

Spat out upon a slightly calmer thoroughfare, we were able to locate the Sampo service centre and a very helpful girl magically produced a replacement for our broken remote. All the addresses and instructions and conversing were relying on my increasingly rudimentary Chinese, hence the pride: strangely, I'm truly getting worse each day that passes! Job done, we negotiated our way back through the labyrinth and headed towards some mid-afternoon snacks in the form of the made-to-order gourmet burgers of Burger Rays. Looks like an interesting Italian place has sprung up next door during the summer too, so we'll check that out at some later date.

After already doing the bread shopping and the grocery shopping in the raging midday heat, we were satisfied with our forays outdoors. Time to watch the Wallabies get thrashed....but no! They actually produced a spirited fight in the Dunedin indoor stadium....we half expected a pitch invasion from Ross! We indulged in some shocking TV binge viewing on the weekend as well. During the course of the latter part of the week and through the weekend we caught up with all 6 episodes of the latest season of "Game of Thrones"....wow, what a trip! No spoilers in case you haven't watched but are intending to. Suffice to say, the series has lost none of its cachet: it might have gained some!

Photos are pretty sparse, with just a few enforced photos when I realized we wouldn't have any: I really need to just snap myself into action and develop some far better habits, perhaps by viewing things through a different filter. OK, I've descended into awful punnery, so I'll just shut the self timer and put the lens cap back on and have a good hard look at myself (a selfie?)!

(The last photo is the result of Cass changing out all the bags of desiccant in our wardrobes...they've changed from pellets to water over the summer!)

According to the leading English language newspaper in Taiwan, The China Post, we've never endured a hotter, longer streak of weather in this country! Here is the article. We felt a little better after reading this as we'd been suffering in the heat and felt a little pathetic: had we really not acclimatized to the end-of-summer heat after all these years? We're just thankful every day that we bit the bullet and committed to our two new air-conditioners at this time last year as I think that the old rattlers would have really packed it in trying to battle against this type of unrelenting fire.

I went down to Uli's on Friday evening before watching numerous games of NRL and AFL. Wal and I had a good catch up about all sorts of things: the last few times we've been down there we've been interrupted a little by "special guests": who are always welcome, but it meant that we'd not had a chance to get down to the nitty gritty.

Cass had arranged to meet her good friend, Kristin, at their favourite haunt, Sonnentor. They ate a delicious meal and had some wine smoothies, which to me sound quite nauseating, but I'm told they're very tasty! Kristin had been traveling around the U.S. for a great chunk of the summer, so Cass was able to hear all about that. They swapped stories for some hours and eventually closed the place down!

Our faithful computer Mr Fixit, Dick, was due to arrive on Friday evening with some replacement parts for the computer, but as we were both out gallivanting, he made alternative plans for Sunday night. He managed to cobble together various drives and sound cards to get everything working again, especially my overworked DVD burner, which had been offline since Dick's other fixes. I'm nearly up to speed again on the home front and I'm slowly coming to terms with the new school software.

Seems a neat segue to the IT conundrums at work as I'm working on at least five new software platforms, one of which is also new to the division. The lower school has scant need for the computing power of some of these new platforms and the most I'd done was some work on Google Drive and Docs. Now, I'm getting up to speed with Office 365 in all forms, OneNote online, Canvas, the school's blogging platform, PowerSchool, Sadlier Connects, MyEnglishLab and a slew of other subsidiary platforms and websites. It's no problem, but just takes a little time to get used to, especially with so many new programs needing to be learned all at once.

We crawled out from our air-conditioned cocoon on Saturday to get around a few shops and watched a little bit of football and generally pottered around. Similar raging heat on Sunday wasn't encouraging us to get out and about in the wider world, but we decided to head across to Shinkong Mitsukoshi's "Wovie" cinema to see, "Baby Driver" in the middle of the day. Wow, what a blast! It smacked of Tarantino and Coen Brother's all mixed together with some wild action scenes and cartoonish elements. It reeked of cool and had a pulsing, eclectic soundtrack to boot. We both loved it and it made our day. A+ from us!

Still trying to get used to taking photos again as part of my daily routine, so there are slim pickin's today! We're both plowing through (slowly in my case!) Paul Auster's "4,3,2,1" It's long!
Photos: two girls, Virg looking cute trying to get some Anchovette, Uli's, my new classroom and the invasion of Gloria Jean's into Taipei!